No Bueno Nacho?
by GenerationPossible2027
Summary: Poor Ron has been suffering from a wisdom teeth problem. But when the surgery was over with, the suffering was just beginning. Soft foods only, nothing crunchy, nothing spicy, no Bueno Nacho!
1. Ron's Wisdom Teeth

**I remember when I had MY wisdom teeth removed, and I thought why not give Ron the experience? I remember the soft food diet I was stuck on. Imagine what Ron would go through not being allowed to have Bueno Nacho.**

Kim, Ron, and their daughters were at the dentist and Ron was in a bad mood. "Is there a problem?" asked Kim. "Huh? Oh nothing, it's just my jaws, they're really bugging." he replied rubbing the back of his jaws.

"Want me to have the dentist x-ray your jaws?" she asked.

"No, no, I'll be fine." he said in denial. Linda looked at her dad, "We're all doing our semi-annual dentist visit and in a couple of years, Dawn will meet her first dentist." Linda said tickling her baby sister. The nurse came into the waiting room, "Ron Stoppable?" Ron gulped and stood up and went to the back.

Ron saw himself sitting in the chair and saw this big lamp above him, he saw the tools of the trade that can poke his gums. Then the dentist came in. "Ok, Ronald, I heard your wife tell me you've been having discomfort in your jaws, is that correct?"

"Kim told you? Aww! Well, sometimes I have a hankering for chewing gum."

"Have you ever had oral surgery in the past?"

"No, why?"

"You may have wisdom teeth that are bulging."

"Uh, I'm not that wise if that's why I have those."

The dentist chuckled, "No, a wisdom tooth is the 3rd molar of each quadrant of your dentition. They can be painful over time, we need to get some x-rays and have a referral sent to Dr. Carlos, the oral sergeant."

"Whoa! Wait! Surgery? Me!? NO WAY!" Ron started to wig out.

"Just calm down, It's normal to be scared, but Dr. Carlos is good at his job, he's done it for 15 years, no patient has suffered in his care."

"Yeah, well, I might be the first one."

"Bite down on this so that I can take the x-rays." Ron clamped down on an uncomfortable piece so the dentist can get a clear shot of the back of the teeth.

Ron came out of the back to meet his daughters only to find Kim with Dawn. "Where's Linda?"

"With the pediatric dentist on the other side, she went in after you were called." said Kim.

"Those little x-rays thingies hurt my gums badly."

"I know, I've been there, it's not fun." agreed Kim. Then Linda came out, "Look, I got a free toothbrush. What am I, five?" Linda asked sarcastically as she looked at her new toothbrush.

The next morning, they were having breakfast and Ron was bummed out holding a peace of paper. "What cha got there?" asked Kim. Ron handed the paper over to her and she read it.

"He faxed my dental records, I have to see Dr. Carlos next week to have oral surgery."

"Wisdom teeth? I remember when Linda was just a toddler, I was at home for a week, but I got to have all the ice cream I wanted, which also meant laying off the tough foods like chimurittos and nacos."

"What? I mean, I saw you eating apple putting and scrambled eggs,"

"Yes, you can eat those."

"What about gelatin?"

"Yes, that's pretty yummy."

"Mashed potatoes and gravy?"

"Ok, yes, point being is that you need to stay away from hard foods including Bueno Nacho for a week after the surgery."

"Aww! But I love Bueno Nacho." Ron whined. Linda was heading out the door when she was surprised by a taller Benjamin greeting her. "Benji! Did you get a growth spurt?"

"I know, right? I gained 2 inches last night, one of the joys of puberty." bragged Benjamin. Ron went up to Benjamin, put his hands on his shoulders, and was 4 inches from his face, "Dude, enjoy your young life while you're still young, cuz one day in your future, you'll have your wisdom teeth removed and you'll have to sacrifice your favorite foods for a week." Ben was weirded out, "Uh, yup, I'll worry about that after I go through my pubescent stages." Ben pushed Ron's hands off and left for school followed by Linda.

At Bueno Nacho, Ron was eating his nacos slowly. "Can you eat any slower?" Kim asked sarcastically.

"I want to savor every bite before my 3rd molars leave my mouth." explained Ron.

"How about this, the night before I take you to have your surgery, we can have Bueno Nacho, deal?" suggested Kim.

"Ok, deal." agreed Ron.

The school day was over and Ben and Caesar were having a conversation. "How old were you when you got your first facial hair?" asked Ben.

"I think I was 15, pretty soon, you may grow some side burns." said Caesar. Ben started to rub the fronts of his ears trying to feel some hair. Caesar had a small mustache that was barely visible. Suddenly, he got yanked aside and shoved against a tree. It was MJ who was angry, "When I asked you to take care of my Porsche for the week, it didn't mean you can let the others eat SLOPPY JUNK FOOD IN IT!" MJ yelled angrily in Caesar's face. Caesar tried to calm his brother down, "So, how was Africa?" MJ wasn't taking it, "Do NOT try to change the subject, C, you knew I wouldn't allow George, Duncan, or Darwin into my car with ice cream or anything involving condiments!"

"Ok, so, Mom asked me to pick up our brothers and Darwin wanted ice cream, and things got a little out of hand."

"A LITTLE!?" MJ pulled Caesar by the ear and dragged him home to show the mess. "Ketchup and mustard in the back seat, chocolate on the back of my driver's seat, and crumbs on the passenger seat, what do you call THAT!? Is that a dent? Did you dent my car!?" MJ asked with anger.

"Aww, c'mon, bro, you know how boys are, we eat a lot of food. And whatever you do, do NOT open the glove compartment." Caesar tried to walk off but MJ wasn't done with him, "I need to take my car in for cleaning, and you're not getting away with this, I expect full compensation and coverage of the cleaning bill!"

"Does this mean I have to get a job?" asked Caesar in a tone.

"Precisely." replied MJ.

Those days went by and the last night before the surgery was up. Ron was at the counter ready to order, "We'll have 4 nacos and 3 chimurittos grande sized." Then he suddenly realized Caesar was at the counter wearing the uniform. "Gah! MJ's brother!?" Ron exclaimed.

"I'm Caesar, thanks for noticing the resemblance." he said sarcastically. "You're lucky that it's Naco Night, that'll be $5."

Ron got his food and met up with the girls, "I can't believe Ned would hire someone like Caesar, I mean he hired a monkey clone!"

"Ron, MJ and his brothers have rights like everyone else, you don't have to judge."

"Oh, yeah? Remember Monkey Fist? He was bad road, you doubted me, I was right?" Ron tried to remind Kim.

"YOU need you remember that you have surgery tomorrow, don't ruin this night, ok?"

Ron remembered that, "You're right, I gotta enjoy this night before it ends." He started to chow down on his last meal before his surgery, enjoying every bite while it lasted.


	2. Surgery

**Author's note:** When I was about to go under, they said I couldn't eat or drink anything 4 hours before, but they couldn't numb the pain when they injected the IV in my arm, that was the worst part, I was yelling, "Ahh! Happy place, happy place! All I could consider was 'Pit Boss', the last subject we talked about before I blacked out.

It was the morning of the surgery, about 10 AM, and Kim and Ron were in the waiting room and Ron's stomach was growling, "Ugh, I'm hungry. I can't believe we had do eat so early this morning."

"Ron, the anesthesiologist said, no eating or drinking before you go under. You haven't snuck any sips, have you?"

Ron groaned, "No."

"Good. Looks like they're ready for you, you'll be fine."

Meanwhile, Caesar was trying to get that paycheck to pay for MJ's cleaning. Then DNAmy came in with his 5 younger brothers. "Aww, look at you and your little uniform, you look so cute." complimented the gushy mushy mother. "Mom, don't embarrass me, I'm working. I hope you can order enough to help me pay for MJ's carwash." Mac looked at the others minus Louie, "MJ told you guys not to have food in his car." Amy understood the situation, "I guess we can have 5 li'l niños meals," Mac interrupted, "No, just 3, George and I want salads." Caesar gave an annoyed look just like his boss, Ned.

Ron opened his eyes and found himself in the car with Kim driving. "Hey, Puffy-face, nice to see you survived." she said humorously. Ron's face was swollen and with a cloth wrapped vertically around his head. "I can't feel my face!" he whined. He touched his chin but there was no feeling there. "It's like you could poke my face with a needle and I wouldn't feel it."

"The pain killers can do that. We'll let you sleep off the rest of the drugs so that you can have ice cream later, how does that sound?" Kim offered. Speaking of drugs, they were still affecting Ron making him drowsy, "Yeah, sleep is good, must . . have . ." he leaned his chair back and drifted away while Kim drove into the driveway. "Ron, we're home. Ron?" Ron was passed out and drooling from his swollen lips. Kim was staring out the windshield, "This is gonna take a while."

Later that evening, Ron was still drowsy and had an empty ice cream bowl next to him on the coffee table. Kim took the bowl and took it to the kitchen. Linda saw her swollen-faced dad lying on the couch, "Dad looks so puffed up." Ben was with her giggling, "I feel sorry for him. We all like Bueno Nacho but your old man is on a crunch-free diet. Which reminds me, Caesar works there now. And hopefully, nobody gets to tease your dad with nacos." he said smirking.

The next couple of days were miserable. 2 days after the surgery and Kim to rescue some hikers in the Yellowstone. The kids were in school and Ron was stuck at home with Dawn. He took her with him to stroll around town and saw Bueno Nacho, he can't help it, he decided to walk in. He smelled the tacos and nachos, "Oh, how I missed this place." Given he was away from the joint for 3 days. He walked up to the counter and saw Ned, "Hi, where is Caesar? Did you fire him? Was it because of a No Clone policy?"

"For your information, he's in school."

"Oh, yeah. So, do you have anything soft?"

"Softer than a chimuritto?"

"Well, you see, I had my wisdom teeth removed and-"

"Well, I don't know what to tell you, except you can have some cheese sauce."

Ron sat at a table with his daughter Dawn who was already teething and ready to try out some sauce. Ron stuck his finger into the sauce and licked it, he stuck another finger in it and gave it to Dawn and she nibbled on it. "Ow! Man, your teeth are really coming in, Dawn." Then on another table, he saw nachos soaking in cheese sauce, nachos can go soft if they soak long enough. Ron decided to sneak over to steal a cheese-soaked nacho, he walked over to the nachos and stole one, it was soft from the cheese absorbing into it. He slowly put the nacho in his mouth and just as he bit down on it, "YYOOWWWW!" He fell to the floor holding his jaws while Dawn was in her high chair crying after her dad's blood-curdling scream scared her. Ron got himself off the floor and held Dawn to comfort her. "I'm sorry, Daddy didn't mean to scare you, no he didn't. Let's go to Mr. Fudgie's Ice Cream-a-Rama."

Kim parachuted into the front yard and took off her helmet and harness before she came into the house and saw Dawn playing with her toys and Ron laying on the couch. "So, how was you day?" asked Kim. "Oh, you know, same old, same old." replied Ron. Dawn began to babble, "Yow!" Kim looked at the toddler. "What's wrong, Dawn?" Dawn reenacted Ron's nacho incident by biting something and put her hands on her cheeks and went, "Yow!" Ron considered an excuse for her doing that, "Uh, teething?" Kim picked up Dawn and looked into her mouth seeing the baby teeth growing in. "Perhaps you would like something to teeth on, wouldn't you?" Kim asked the infant. Suddenly, they heard screaming down the street, Ron forgot about his pain and ran outside followed by Kim. They ran over to the Lipskey house and saw Linda's face like she witnessed something horrible. Benjamin had a nose bleed and Juniper had the same freaked out face as Linda and grabbed Dego who had her eyes covered. "What happened!?" Kim asked worried. ""You don't wanna know, trust me. Can we hang out at your house tonight?" Benjamin asked holding his bleeding nose. "Ok, fine." answered Kim.

They were having supper together and Ron had applesauce with gelatin. Linda, Benjamin, and Juniper were staring blankly while eating. "You look like you witnessed something." said Kim. Linda looked at Benjamin, "Why don't you tell them?"

Ben sighed, "We ended up seeing things." he said. "Grownup things." Linda added. "Adult things!" Juniper added as well. "Like XXX things!" Benjamin topped off.

"Ok, I think I know what you're talking about, you're saying Drakken and Shego-" Kim said before Ben and June stopped her. "No! Stop talking! Don't say it!" Ben and June overlapped and Ben put his fingers in his ears, "La-la-la-la-la!" Kim understood the situation, Ok, I get it, ew!" Benjamin had a lot on his mind, "There's a lot of adult stuff happening. I mean, we're just innocent kids, we don't need to see or read gross things, we shouldn't even be exposed to those things and what are people thinking, putting gross things out in public where innocent children can see? I'm 14, you know. So, the blinds broke, I caught them in the act, I screamed and ran into the tree without looking." he ended mumbling and blushed. June added, "At least Dego didn't see it." Kim felt sympathetic for them, "Would you like me to talk to your parents about their privacy?" Ben and June looked at each other and looked down with discomfort.

 **Author's note:** Let this be a lesson to those who don't follow the rules and guidelines.


	3. Bueno Nacho Soup?

It was day 3 after the surgery, and Ron was eating oatmeal and scrambled eggs. Then he slept the rest of the morning away before his father-in-law came in the door. "Hi, Ronald, how are you holding up?" Ron sat up and looked at Dr. Possible, "Well, I miss Bueno Nacho and I'm stuck eating pudding and gelatin for lunch, what's in the bag? I hope it's something awesome." Dr. Possible opened up the bag and pulled out a pack of pasty space food. Ron frowned in disappointment and disgust. "Astronaut food? You're kidding me right?" Dr. Possible put the space food on the coffee table, "How do you know you don't like if you don't try it? Besides, it's got cheese in it." Ron sensed a bit of optimism when he heard the word "cheese" so, he took the pack of astro-food and twisted the cap off. He squirted the pasty food in his mouth, "This is not half bad, thanks Papa P."

"I thought you'd like it. When Kimmy told me about your surgery, I knew we had some chew-free astronaut food that I thought you could try." Ron squirted some more in his mouth, "Perhaps some more that can last for 4 more days?"

"Well, I'll see what I can do." said Dr. Possible, "You take care, Ronald." He then walked out the door.

Meanwhile, Caesar and Mac were mixing up smoothies in the home economics room involving pineapple, kiwi, lychee, mango, papaya, and starfruit. Juniper, Benjamin, and Linda were more than happy to have some with them. "How come I see you guys in the cafeteria much?" asked Benjamin.

"We're vegans," replied Caesar blending fruits. "we don't like that lunch lady pouring mystery meat on our plates without our consent."

"We have a hazelnut tree in our backyard." Mac bragged. Benjamin smiled, "Hazelnuts? That is awesome! I've got a nasty allergy to peanuts, one lick and my face swells up like a balloon." he ended with a mildly stressed facial expression and rubbing his cheeks. Mac looked at him and picked up his backpack and pulled out a jar of hazelnut spread. "Try this out, Mom made it with the Nutella recipe, with almond oil, not peanut oil."

"Did your mom add cocoa to this?" Benjamin asked as he dipped a spoon into the spread, he then put the spoon into his mouth. "She DID add cocoa!" Benjamin was jumping with joy. Caesar had to interrupt the two, "Hey, don't spoil the smoothies." He poured the smoothie into cups. Mac and Benjamin turned to have some. Caesar turned to Linda handing her a smoothie, "Isn't your dad recovering from that surgery? He can have a smoothie too." Linda nodded her head in agreement. Ms. Jaggerson came into the home ec. Room and confronted the children. "You kids shouldn't be in here, you're supposed to be eating in the cafeteria like everybody else!"

"Mac and I are vegans, at least tell the lunch lady to put more salads and fruit out." complained Caesar.

Mac and Caesar were forced to clean up and leave the room. "We'll have more smoothies later, okay?"Later, Linda was able to called up her dad, "Hi Daddy."

"Linda? What's up?" Ron was on the other line.

"Would you be interested in a smoothie?"

"Like kiwi and pineapple?"

"And strawberries."

"I guess if you can put it in a blender, it can work." The word "blender" went through his head a couple of times. "Like a chimuritto soup? Or a blended up naco?" Ron suggested with such a weird idea. Linda had an awkward look on her face, "Um, I wouldn't call it a smoothie if it has nacos or chimurittos in it." Benjamin looked at Linda and laughed, "Well, good luck drinking THAT! Yech, drinking a chimuritto smoothie? I could really use some more tropical fruit."

Ron stormed into Bueno Nacho. "I want 4 nacos and 4 chimurittos please." He came home and put the food on the counter. "C'mon, where is it?" he asked himself looking through the cabinets for the blender. He found it, and then he unwrapped the chimuritto and the naco and put them in it. He plugged it in and turned it on. The nacho shell from the naco, the meat, the beans, and the cheese shredded and blended together until it looked orange with a hint of brown. He opened it and smelled the cheese, beans, beef, and nacho all blended into a soupy cheesy smoothie. Kim came home and saw what her husband was getting himself into. "Ron, that is so gross. Are you seriously going to drink that?"

"Kim, it's the only way I can have Bueno Nacho." said Ron. Linda came home with a smoothie in her hand only to see her dad drink a naco and chimuritto. He took a sip of it and coughed, "Wow, I think it tasted like cheesy, beefy, like a Bueno Nacho soup, with the beans." Ron stared at the soup and looked at the girls. Kim looked at him in disgust, "I think I lost my appetite."

Linda held up the fruit smoothie, "Do you still want this smoothie?"


End file.
